Peace out 2022, 2023 Mode Starts Now

If you have read any of my previous blogs or seen any posts on my social media you will know that 2022 has been a rough year. It has been a huge year of learning. Trying to learn and understand people, trying to understand why things happen they way they do. Trying to pick up the pieces of blown up plans. Trying to fill a hole from the loss of people who I just knew would be around for the long haul. Trying to understand why the people you trust the most, hurt you the worst. Trying to raise an almost teenage daughter and all the wonderful mood swings that brings (oh and I know it is only going to get worse).

Yet the hardest part of it all has been trying to figure it out alone. Granted, I have my wonderful family that supports me and I am super lucky to have them, but I think we can all agree that it isn’t the same.
Being alone and doing life alone, is probably one of the scariest/hardest things, for me anyway. I have a couple theories on this, but we will save that rabbit hole for another day. Being alone is a journey that I need to take.

For years and years society/movies/parents/books have all told us, go to school, get married, and have a family. What happens when that isn’t the norm for you? What happens when you have tried so hard for so long and it never seems to work? What happens if you decided to break the norm?
Something that I learned a little late in life but, you are truly the only person that can make yourself happy. Happiness, what does that look like, what does that feel like? What does it look like for you?

For me, to truly discover happiness, I have started writing down the times I feel joy, the times I am happy. To know and understand that happiness doesn’t come from a single person but from moments in time spent with people you care about or things that make you laugh and bring you joy.

  • Ice skating with Mattie was one of the best things I have done in a long time. The joy it brought her and the laughs that we shared, pure happiness.
  • The random working group texts that I get that have me rolling with laughter. (Shout out to my Amarillo/San Angelo peeps). That brings laughter into my life which brings joy and happiness.
  • Watching Mattie sing her little heart out every morning on the way to school like she is a bad ass, makes me wonder why I missed so many morning drop offs this year.
  • Sitting on the beach with my toes in the sand, watching and listening to the washes crash in, that fills my soul.

I am slowly learning that it is the little things that brings us the most joy. Not a person, not love, although I am quite sure both of those add to the happiness list in some form or fashion. But it is the little moments in time that mean the most. I also started a gratitude list, every morning I list five things from the day before that I am thankful or grateful for. I heard this on the Rachel Hollis podcast, but this enables you to start looking for the good. Once you start looking for the good, that is all you will start to see.

So, while I am counting down the remaining days of 2022, I am also really excited about 2023 and the blessings it will bring. It will be full of adventure, happiness, joy, and laughter. We all have hard seasons in life, but to be honest, I have had about enough of mine. So I am choosing joy. I am choosing kindness this next year. I am choosing to make new friends. I am choosing to find happiness every single day.
Most of all, I hope Mattie sees a happy mama. One that through it all, has never given up. I hope she sees that with hard work, your dreams really are possible.

2022, I know we have a few more weeks, but it’s been real, and not really fun, and now you have to go. No more tears, no more questions, no more wondering, just finding joy in each day. Loving my journey for all the ups and downs because without it, I wouldn’t be who I am today. Checking into 2023 mode begins now.

As always, share some love, we could all use a little more love

Soul Connections

Have you ever had people in your life that you instantly connected with? People that after a while of being around each other, you developed an intense connection? Not just the surface level friend connection, the kind of connection where you can sit and talk for hours, have in depth conversations on life, feelings, the meaning of things. Those friendships/relationships that you see lasting a life time, the ones where you talk about growing old together or living next door to each other and raising kids together. I firmly believe that these type of connections are a necessity to us. With the advancement of technology we have anyone we could ever want to talk to right at our fingertips but how many of those people do you actually have a connection with? A conversation through text messaging is nothing compared to a conversation in person. To sit with someone and feel the energy, to watch as their eyes light up when they get excited about things. To embrace and cry together when things are not okay, that is a true connection.

I have had some amazing best friends in my life. Friends that were there for everything. The good, the bad, and the really really hard stuff. The battles that on my own, I wasn’t sure if I would have made it out. Unfortunately, life has a crazy way of happening, moves get made, jobs change, and one day you wake up and realize you haven’t heard from your friends in a while. Next thing you know, six months, a year, and then two years have gone by. That connection that you once had, it fizzles and dies. If you both aren’t actively putting energy into the relationship, it is hard to maintain it, especially when it is long distance and over text messages. I speak as someone who has lost most of their connections along the way. As someone who is really terrible at communicating when it comes to maintaining those relationships that are long distance. As someone who watches posts and follows along with their friends life from afar.

Soul connections are a rare find. When you find them, don’t let them go. Water them, nourish them, and grow together. Be there to pick each other up, an ear when it’s needed, a sounding board, and someone that gives honest feedback even when it may hurt. One of the greatest things that I have learned this past year, is how precious true friendship is. You don’t know what you are missing until you don’t have it anymore.

Me, I have a big heart, I am a big time lover, I am all about connecting with people. However, I have been hurt deepest by some of the people that I was the closest with. Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever though. Some people are only there for a season, to teach you something you needed to know. While it hurts, after you get through the pain, the reflection, I guarantee you will come out a stronger person. Those connections serve an even better purpose, helping you get to the person you were meant to be. We need connections now more than ever, so don’t let seasonal connections deter you from making new ones.

I have recently started something new and it has been really good for me. If I am with those important people in my life and we go to dinner or hang out, I disconnect from my phone. I put it in my purse, leave it in the truck, or just keep it out of sight. This way, I can truly give my undivided attention to those people and there is something special about that. We need more of that.

Never stop being open to making new connections, you never know who may change your life.

Share some love, we could all use a little more love



Favorite Places and Mental Reset Days

The older I get and the more I grow as a person, I continue to see and realize how important mental health is. Sometimes you just need a time out. A mental health day to reset. Never be afraid to take these days for yourself. Whether you are married, a parent, a single parent, or living your best life, these days are essential. No matter what is going on, you have to take care of yourself first before you can take care of anyone else. 

I was able to have a reset this past weekend. I went to one of my favorite places and put my toes in the sand. I turned on my favorite music and watched the waves crash onto the shore. I blocked out all the thoughts and really just tried to get in tune with my surroundings. The way the sand felt between my toes, the sounds of the waves, the feel of the ocean, the open sky, even the seagulls that really wanted some of my Cheez-its. It was an opportunity for me to know and understand that sometimes, you just have to let things go and see what happens. 

The only downfall of having a reset day, is that when you come back home, all the things you left are still there. Hopefully, your reset can put a new perspective on things and you are able to find a new way to navigate them. For me, the last two weeks, I have been having trouble sleeping. Waking up in the middle of the night and having my mind just run 100 miles an hour. Stress and anxiety can do that to you. While my reset helped some, if you are unable to get a way, here are some tips that can help with sleeping through the night

  • Technology – turn it off and don’t use it before bed 
  • Regular exercise 
  • Meditate prior to bed
  • Create a calming environment
  • Journal – getting all those thoughts out and down on paper 
  • Be sure to take time to unwind
  • Read

Don’t forget, taking care of yourself is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. You only get one life, make it a happy one. 

As always share some love, we could all use a little more love.