Why Solid Habits are Important

Life has a way of throwing you off balance sometimes. One minute, you have your routine down, you are getting things done, and the next thing you know four months have gone by and your progression has stalled.

This recently happened to me, I was on a role. I was reading daily, I was writing, I was journaling, I was staying ahead of my to do list. Then one day it stopped. I got busy and stopped making time to read. I stopped writing. I stopped trying to advertise for my boutique. I was barely doing the basics that I needed to do.

Looking back now, I wasn’t busy. I got wrapped up spending my time doing the wrong things. I was letting my feelings get the best of me. This year has been a lot, some ups, a lot of downs and I lot of wondering what the heck am I doing. I got to the point where, I didn’t want to do anything anymore. I didn’t want to read (which is one of my favorite things to do), I didn’t want to write, and I had to force myself to work and be a mom. If I could have, I would have happily stayed in bed and binged out on Netflix and Social Media.

I recently went through a job change and knew this would fix my funk. It has to a degree but it was the instantaneous fix that I was hoping for. Last week, I was in bed trying to figure out how to get out of the hole. How to feel passionate again about things, to be excited to work on my to-do list instead of forcing myself to work on it. I realized that trying to fix everything at once was not going to work. That I could not just jump back in and be the same productive person I was four months ago, I needed to start out small and work my way back up.

I decided to start with reading, my goal was to read at least 30 minutes a day. By day 2, I was hungry for reading. I didn’t have to force myself to open my book. It was something I looked forward too. I have read almost every day since, if I missed a day then I doubled up the next day. Reading for me helps bring my passion back.

I realized that this all goes back to the habits you build. When you have a routine with solid habits, it is a lot harder to get thrown off course. I had a routine but my habits got broken because they were not set in stone. I sat in that brokenness instead of finding a way out. I am happy to say that my head is coming out of the clouds and things are looking up. I am excited to work on my habits again and start building some new ones along the way.

Start with one thing, anything you want to do, add it to a part of your daily routine and watch that habit become part of your every day life.

Share some love, we could all use a little more love.
XOXOXO
Casey

Favorite Places and Mental Reset Days

The older I get and the more I grow as a person, I continue to see and realize how important mental health is. Sometimes you just need a time out. A mental health day to reset. Never be afraid to take these days for yourself. Whether you are married, a parent, a single parent, or living your best life, these days are essential. No matter what is going on, you have to take care of yourself first before you can take care of anyone else. 

I was able to have a reset this past weekend. I went to one of my favorite places and put my toes in the sand. I turned on my favorite music and watched the waves crash onto the shore. I blocked out all the thoughts and really just tried to get in tune with my surroundings. The way the sand felt between my toes, the sounds of the waves, the feel of the ocean, the open sky, even the seagulls that really wanted some of my Cheez-its. It was an opportunity for me to know and understand that sometimes, you just have to let things go and see what happens. 

The only downfall of having a reset day, is that when you come back home, all the things you left are still there. Hopefully, your reset can put a new perspective on things and you are able to find a new way to navigate them. For me, the last two weeks, I have been having trouble sleeping. Waking up in the middle of the night and having my mind just run 100 miles an hour. Stress and anxiety can do that to you. While my reset helped some, if you are unable to get a way, here are some tips that can help with sleeping through the night

  • Technology – turn it off and don’t use it before bed 
  • Regular exercise 
  • Meditate prior to bed
  • Create a calming environment
  • Journal – getting all those thoughts out and down on paper 
  • Be sure to take time to unwind
  • Read

Don’t forget, taking care of yourself is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. You only get one life, make it a happy one. 

As always share some love, we could all use a little more love. 

XOXOXO

Casey

Living with Grief

Grief – Deep sorrow, the natural response to a loss. The emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. Many people associate grief with the death of a loved one, however any loss can cause grief. From the loss of friendships, relationships, pets, health, jobs to dreams or even selling the family home. One thing that I have learned about grief, is that each person experiences and handles it differently.

Grief can hit you in the most unexpected ways. There can be times when you think you are making progress, things seem to be looking up, and a song comes on the radio or you see something that reminds you of your loss and you are taken back to the pain. This recently happened to me and it was like getting hit with a wall of emotions. Everything changed in an instant, my mindset and how my body was feeling. It was the first time I realized what I was experiencing. As much as I tried to shift my mindset and stay busy, those feelings hung back there waiting for my mind to quiet down. Waiting for me to sit in them and sort through them. I think that is one of the hardest things, not brushing your feelings under the rug, but trying to navigate through them.

There are different stages of grief. A simple search online shows the original five stages that have now been amended to seven. The original five stages are highlight below.

Denial – This often come across as – “This can’t be happening to me.” Denial can also consist of not acknowledging your feelings, saying you are fine when you really aren’t.

Anger – If you have experienced any kind of loss, you more than likely have been angry, even if it was only for a short time. I have hit it. I have been angry, unable to understand, asking God questions that only He knows the answers too.

Bargaining – This one is just like it reads. When you are trying to make deals, this can often be with God or others depending on your situation.

Depression – This is the grief or sadness that hits you, sometimes out of no where.

Acceptance – When you come to peace with what has happened.

As I stated earlier, everyone grieves differently, some may go through all of these phases and some may not. Some may go in this exact order and some may jump around. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. You and you alone are entitled to your feelings. Do not let anyone else tell you how you should be feeling and don’t try to tell yourself how you should be feeling, remember there is not right or wrong way.

These are some things that I do to help with the grieving process; acknowledge and sit in your feelings. Feel the pain and know that things will get better. I also journal to help with this process. Pick up a new hobby or activity that brings you joy. Talk to someone, a support group or a counselor. Know that there is no quick fix, it takes time to heal. Know that you are not alone.

Sometimes it is hard to console people who are grieving. Sometimes no words are needed. Just having the mere presence that someone is there for you is enough for some people. If you know someone who is grieving or who is going through a hard time, don’t be afraid to reach out. We could all use a little more love in the world.

XOXOXO

Casey