Choose Forgiveness.

Forgiveness. Such a big word that packs so much meaning. It is the act or process of forgiving or being forgiven. To forgive is to stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake. Forgiveness can sometimes be one of the hardest things to do, depending on what the other person has done to offend you. 

I have been mulling over this forgiveness issue for a while lately. I have often forgiven people for things they have done (even when they didn’t realize they did anything wrong). But how do you know when you have truly forgiven someone?

  • Time – one thing for sure, forgiveness takes time. There have been a few times where I said I have forgiven people, but honestly I hadn’t yet. I needed more time to feel, to work through whatever the issue was, and to move forward on my own time. Time is important.
  • When you can talk about what happened as a point of reference and not a point of pain – When talking about the issue no longer causes you hurt, you have reached forgiveness.
  • When revenge becomes a non-issue – If you reach the point of no longer trying to get back at someone for what they did to you, I would say you have reached forgiveness with them. 
  • When the lesson has been learned – sometimes when things happen, we don’t sit in the pain. We brush everything under the rug and go on with life. Then the same situation happens again and again, over and over. In this type of situation, learning through forgiveness allows for new boundaries to be set up. Boundaries, I have recently learned, are a very healthy thing to have. (Don’t worry, I have another blog on boundaries coming!)
  • Helping your offender – If something arised and the person that has hurt you needed help and you were able to help them and feel okay about it, you have probably reached forgiveness. 

Not only is forgiveness good for you emotionally, but there are some health benefits to forgiveness as well. Some of these include; less anxiety and stress, improved mental health, lower blood pressure, and improved heart health. 

Some hold on to grudges for ages, but think about what all you are missing out on. If you are so tied up being angry with someone else, you are missing out on all the good that is going on around you. I get it, you are probably saying, “Casey, you have no idea what they did to me”, but I bet I can relate in a small way. I have been through the abusive relationships, the liars, the cheaters, the people who take advantage, and raising a child on my own. I also understand that we as humans make mistakes, I know I have made my fair share. I have chosen the route of forgiveness, whether people have apologized or not.

Life to too short to constantly be hindered by something that happened in the past. Take the time to learn to forgive. It may take time, but I bet your heart will feel much lighter and happier. Choose Happiness. Choose Forgiveness.

Share some love, we could all use a little more love.

XOXOXO

Casey

Success Habits – June Book of the Month

For the June Book of the Month, I read “Success Habits – Proven Principles for Greater Wealth, Health, and Happiness” by Napoleon Hill. This book is a collection of a radio talk series that Napoleon gave. I really enjoyed this book. It was a quick read for me but it was packed with a lot of punches.

“The starting point of all individual achievements is the adoption of a definite purpose accompanied by a definite plan for its attainment followed by appropriate action.”

If you want achievements and success, you have to find your purpose. I think this has been said a lot in many different books that I have read. With no purpose, it is hard to find the drive to keep on going, to weather the storms, to keep on keeping on when the going gets tough. Once you find your purpose though, you have to make a plan and then you have to follow that plan with the action steps required. I think making the plan and the follow-through of the plan are easy compared to finding your purpose. Finding your Purpose can be tough, it comes naturally to some people. Some people have been living their purpose and don’t even realize it, and some, like me, didn’t realize purpose can be as simple as helping others.

Find your purpose, make a plan, and put it into action.

“All individual achievements are the result of a motive or a combination of motives.”

9 Basic Motives

  • Emotion of Love – Greatest of all motives and emotions
  • Emotion of Sex
  • Desire for Material Wealth
  • Desire for Self-Preservation
  • Desire for Freedom of Body & Mind
  • Desire for Personal Expression & Recognition
  • Desire for Perpetuation of Life after Death
  • Desire for Revenge
  • Emotion of Fear

Now, think about the things that motivate you, that drive you. Do they fall into the 9 Basic Motives? Mine did. I found this very intriguing. That all people are motivated by all of the same things, in some sort of way.

“If you allow your mind to dwell upon the things you don’t want, that is exactly what you get, and that is what the majority of the people are getting, the things that they don’t want.”

15 Major Causes of Failure

  • Habit of drifting through life without a definite purpose or a definite plan for attaining it.
  • Unfavorable physical heredities at birth
  • Meddlesome curiosity in connection with other people’s affairs
  • Lack of a definite, major purpose as a life goal
  • Inadequate education
  • Lack of Self-Discipline
  • Lack of Ambition to aim above mediocrity
  • Ill Health
  • Unfavorable environmental influences during childhood
  • Lack of Persistence in carrying through to a finish that which one starts
  • Negative Mental Attitude
  • Lack of Control of the Emotions of the Heart
  • Desire for something for nothing
  • Procrastination
  • Giving into 1 or more of the 7 Basic Fears – Fear of Poverty, Fear of Criticism, Ill Health, Loss of Love, Old Age, Loss of Liberty, and Death

The one that stood out to me was the “Desire for something for nothing.” How often do we desire things but don’t put in the work to achieve them? Where we think we are entitled to things because, well life hasn’t always been “fair” to us? Nothing comes to us for free. Yes, you may know people who it seems everything they touch turns to gold, but do you know their whole story?

There are more points in the book on how to improve your character along with a personality assessment. “Personality is one of the important things that is responsible for your success or failure.” How is your personality rating these days? Are you passing? Or could you use some more loving?

Overall, I really enjoyed this book and I hope you were able to find a few nuggets in what I shared.

Share some love, we could all use a little more love
XOXOXO
Casey

Choose Joy.

I was recently watching Grey’s Anatomy and in one of the episodes, they were talking about happiness and joy. Looking for joy and finding some happiness or doing things that made you happy. The looking for joy, really hit me.

It is all about our mindset and how we choose to view things. I could wake up in the morning and be annoyed or irritated at work. I could be frustrated with my commute. I could just be an unhappy person to be around. Frustrated with my circumstances, finances, the way the world is going.

or

I could wake up and smile. I could feel the happiness. I could look for things throughout my day that bring me more and more joy. Did you know that when you smile, it helps your mood?

I recently started smiling when answering the phone and my overall mood on the phone is happier. Customers seem to be happier too. Talking with a smile on your face seems to help lift any mood.

All of this sounds so grand and easy. Wake up and be happy, choose joy. We all know it isn’t that simple though. There are going to be days that no matter how hard you try, it is hard to see the joy. You are going to wake up on the wrong side of the bed and not be able to fix it. There will be days where nothing seems to go right and there will be days where it all seems to fall apart. This is okay. The important part is that you keep trying. Every day. Keep trying to find ways to choose joy. Keep working on being kind to your neighbor. At a certain point, you won’t have to keep trying, it will just come naturally. I am on the path of trying, everyday, trying to be better than I was the day before. Choosing Joy. Choosing Happiness.

Just remember, joy doesn’t have to be some grand gesture or experience. It could be someone complementing your glasses or opening the door for you or complementing your shoes! It is the little things, they matter the most. While you are on the outlook for joy, don’t be afraid to show kindness to others. If you like someone’s outfit, tell them. Imagine the world we could live in, if people started paying attention to others and were nice. For my introverts, this is harder to do trust me I am right there with you. The more you do it, the easier it gets. You never know how much you can brighten someone’s day by complementing them though.

Choose Joy and Share some love, we could all use a little more love.