Resilience – Book Review

I ordered this book a while back and it has been sitting in my stack of to-read books. I have no doubt that God, the Universe, whatever you believe in, has a way of putting things in your lap when you need them and this book for me, was one of those things.

This book is letters written to a fellow Navy Seal that has been going through some hard times. It is about resilience and how to work through the hard times and keep going. If you are into philosophy, he shares a ton of additional books to read (which have all been added to my running list of books to read ;).

“Resilience is the virtue that enables people to move through hardship and become better” After reading this line, I knew there was a reason I was reading this book at this time. Hardship is not supposed to hinder but only make us better, it all comes down to perspective and how you look at things.

“Don’t expect a time in your life when you’ll be free from change, free from struggle, free from worry.” I needed this line. For so long, I had thought, okay if I can just make it to here, things will be better. If I can just do this, I won’t struggle as much. Knowing that there will always be some kind of struggle, some kind of worry almost eases the pressure. Allows you to be more in the moment and to keep creating the life you envisioned for yourself.

“The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken place” – Hemingway

“Wonder at what you don’t know is the source of the wisdom you might achieve one day” I loved this, learning for me is something I never stop doing. From books I read, to podcasts I listen to, to courses I take. I never want to stop learning.

“Start copying what you love. Copy, copy, copy, copy. At the end of the copy you will find yourself” – Yohji Yamamoto

For someone who is starting something new and doesn’t know where to start. Start by finding someone in the same field you admire. Copy their work, do what they do, and before you know it, you will have put your own spin on it and “you will find yourself”.

“If you want to live a purposeful life, you have to create your purpose” This part of the book was a little mind blowing for me. I have read books and listened to podcasts on finding your purpose. What is your why? I always wondered, how do you find your purpose? Is this just something you are born knowing? Eric put a different spin on this, instead of finding your purpose, he said create your purpose. Reading it from this perspective, it was almost like a lightbulb going off. Create your purpose.

“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how” – Nietzsche

“With the right reflection we learn to turn our experience into wisdom that shapes how we live. The way you see the world is shaped by the reflection you are willing to do”

There is not a single hardship that we as humans have faced that has not been faced before. It is what you do with that hardship that determines how your life will go. Are you reflecting on it, are you growing from it or are you wallowing in it? You will get knocked down, time and time again, but will you keep standing up?

Reflection has been good for me this year, the hardship chapters have closed and this new phase of finding myself has emerged. Become a resilient person, you never know what kind of life is waiting on the other side.

Share some love, we could all use a little more love

Why Solid Habits are Important

Life has a way of throwing you off balance sometimes. One minute, you have your routine down, you are getting things done, and the next thing you know four months have gone by and your progression has stalled.

This recently happened to me, I was on a role. I was reading daily, I was writing, I was journaling, I was staying ahead of my to do list. Then one day it stopped. I got busy and stopped making time to read. I stopped writing. I stopped trying to advertise for my boutique. I was barely doing the basics that I needed to do.

Looking back now, I wasn’t busy. I got wrapped up spending my time doing the wrong things. I was letting my feelings get the best of me. This year has been a lot, some ups, a lot of downs and I lot of wondering what the heck am I doing. I got to the point where, I didn’t want to do anything anymore. I didn’t want to read (which is one of my favorite things to do), I didn’t want to write, and I had to force myself to work and be a mom. If I could have, I would have happily stayed in bed and binged out on Netflix and Social Media.

I recently went through a job change and knew this would fix my funk. It has to a degree but it was the instantaneous fix that I was hoping for. Last week, I was in bed trying to figure out how to get out of the hole. How to feel passionate again about things, to be excited to work on my to-do list instead of forcing myself to work on it. I realized that trying to fix everything at once was not going to work. That I could not just jump back in and be the same productive person I was four months ago, I needed to start out small and work my way back up.

I decided to start with reading, my goal was to read at least 30 minutes a day. By day 2, I was hungry for reading. I didn’t have to force myself to open my book. It was something I looked forward too. I have read almost every day since, if I missed a day then I doubled up the next day. Reading for me helps bring my passion back.

I realized that this all goes back to the habits you build. When you have a routine with solid habits, it is a lot harder to get thrown off course. I had a routine but my habits got broken because they were not set in stone. I sat in that brokenness instead of finding a way out. I am happy to say that my head is coming out of the clouds and things are looking up. I am excited to work on my habits again and start building some new ones along the way.

Start with one thing, anything you want to do, add it to a part of your daily routine and watch that habit become part of your every day life.

Share some love, we could all use a little more love.

Favorite Places and Mental Reset Days

The older I get and the more I grow as a person, I continue to see and realize how important mental health is. Sometimes you just need a time out. A mental health day to reset. Never be afraid to take these days for yourself. Whether you are married, a parent, a single parent, or living your best life, these days are essential. No matter what is going on, you have to take care of yourself first before you can take care of anyone else. 

I was able to have a reset this past weekend. I went to one of my favorite places and put my toes in the sand. I turned on my favorite music and watched the waves crash onto the shore. I blocked out all the thoughts and really just tried to get in tune with my surroundings. The way the sand felt between my toes, the sounds of the waves, the feel of the ocean, the open sky, even the seagulls that really wanted some of my Cheez-its. It was an opportunity for me to know and understand that sometimes, you just have to let things go and see what happens. 

The only downfall of having a reset day, is that when you come back home, all the things you left are still there. Hopefully, your reset can put a new perspective on things and you are able to find a new way to navigate them. For me, the last two weeks, I have been having trouble sleeping. Waking up in the middle of the night and having my mind just run 100 miles an hour. Stress and anxiety can do that to you. While my reset helped some, if you are unable to get a way, here are some tips that can help with sleeping through the night

  • Technology – turn it off and don’t use it before bed 
  • Regular exercise 
  • Meditate prior to bed
  • Create a calming environment
  • Journal – getting all those thoughts out and down on paper 
  • Be sure to take time to unwind
  • Read

Don’t forget, taking care of yourself is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. You only get one life, make it a happy one. 

As always share some love, we could all use a little more love.